Love is not enough- Lessons from Tyler Perry’s Acrimony
I am a huge Tyler Perry fan and when Acrimony started showing in the cinemas, I was one of the early birds who trooped in cinemas to watch the movie. I have seen that movie three times and every time I get to the end, I still feel pretty messed up.
A lot of people on Twitter and other social media platforms have found it convenient to throw blame around but I don’t think it was Tyler Perry’s intention to throw shade on any gender.
I think he just wanted us to see how messed up life could get sometimes and how strong relationships or friendships wither away without it being the sole intention of either of the parties.
However, I learnt major lessons I’d love to share.
Love is not enough
Often times, we get carried away with our own idealistic views or how love ought to look like or be that we don’t realize that love is hard work. Loving your partner will never be enough to sustain a relationship.
I’m not saying love isn’t important but love isn’t everything. In the movie, Melinda loved Robert and Robert in his own way loved his wife but things fell apart because one or both of them didn’t have the other key factors; respect, compromise, patience and forgiveness.
Understand your Partner’s love language
We express and feel love differently so it’s important to find out what love language works for your partner. Reading more about love languages might help you understand them better.
Robert felt Melinda would love him more if he could buy her everything he had promised but she just wanted him to man up and contribute his quota to the running of their home. His inability to do this eventually led to resentment.
Do not let your life revolve solely around your partner
Being involved in your partner’s life is good but it’s very important to have activities outside of him/her.
This way you can function as a human being first then a partner. Melinda was so immersed in providing for the home, paying the bills and tending to Robert that she forgot how to exist on her own without him. This, in the end, drove her nuts.
Forgiveness means letting go
I can’t remember the number of times I’ve heard people say “I only forgive, I don’t forget”. That doesn’t really capture the essence of forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go and forgetting the act completely.
This was a major problem for Melinda. She claimed she had forgiven Robert for cheating on her but she had never let it go. This, in turn, led to paranoia that drove her to the brinks of insanity.
People do learn from their mistakes
The fact that someone wronged you the first time doesn’t mean the person will do the same thing in a similar situation.
Robert cheated the first time and promised never to do it again but because Melinda was still holding on to his first offence, she couldn’t see past her doubts and capitalized on the fact that he had done it before.
Bitterness is deadly
Letting go of the pain others caused you is really for your benefit. Holding a grudge only makes you bitter and will have disastrous effects. So let go and move on for yourself.
Keep your love life private
Not everyone needs to know every intimate detail of your relationship. Keep third parties and their opinions out of your affairs. Melinda was able to track Robert because she found all the information she needed on social media and she also let the opinion of her family affect the way she felt about Robert. It’s YOUR love life, keep it that way.
Know when to move on
I know this is easier said than done but I think at some point, we all know when there’s no future with an ex or even a present relationship. Hanging on by a thread only does more damage than good.
I know you all are waiting for me to blame one person but I honestly have no one to blame. Both parties were at fault in their own little way and contributed to the collapse of their relationship. In the end, there are no clear-cut laid down rules for Love, life and relationships. We can only do the best we can and hope we find someone who’s willing to spend forever with us. I would see this movie over and over again and I think it’s a must-see for dating and married couples.
Have you seen Acrimony?
What did you think about it?
I am Temitope. I am your typical girl next door; playful, fun loving and very adventurous. I someday hope to travel the world. I am obsessed with tasting and taking pictures of great food. I love to dance but cannot sing to save my life. I think I deserved to be crowned as the greatest foodie to walk the face of the earth. Join me, let’s unravel the world together